The Neverending Pancakes
to Falls Count Anywhere. My name is Chris, and I would rather
not discuss Daredevil.
Supreme disappointment. Everyone seemed sleepy. Perhaps they,
too, undertook the Never Ending Pancakes at IHOP as a tribute
to Presidents' Day. They did do an OK job hyping a couple
of the matches for No Way Out, but as a show itself, I was
Lance Storm was pretty bad, mostly because RVD looked as if
he could hardly keep up with himself. He moved very awkwardly,
though he did hit most of his moves. Storm was his usual self,
and the crowd genuinely didn't care about the match.
Top and Stephanie McMahon had a commercial. This is why the
WWE should never do anything with a celebrity again. (see
talked, but didn't say much, except to challenge JR to a match.
This was way long, and I think everyone watching flipped to
see either Michael Jackson or Joe Millionaire. The other Bisch
skits were decent though, as Morley is an underrated talent,
and Bischoff makes his stuff entertaining.
and Molly took on Victoria (97 this week on the HOTHOTHOT
meter) and Jazz. Not bad, a little forced at times, but Jazz
is really good, Molly looked better than usual, and Jackie
got some heat for her hot tag into the match. Other than that,
not a creature was stirring in the audience.
Perfect tribute was good, showing all of his old skits from
the late 80s. My favorites? The beautiful 25 foot putt he
sunk, followed by the pass he threw for fifty yards to himself.
is blatant pandering.
It's what we do best.
"Redd Dogg" Mack vs. Al Snow wasn't terrible, but
it did have a scary Tiger Driver finish that nearly kilt Al.
I still love Teddy Long, and as such, plan to "Back the
travels between heel and face continued this week. The tag
match against Jericho and Christian with HBK was good, and
Jeff looked better than usual. They handcuffed HBK outside
the ring, but he still managed to make the match. That's why
he should be in the Hall of Fame. Jericho whining after the
match about how Jeff hadn't had a win in months was funny,
Nowinski took on Hurricane. I really like Harvard Chris, and
spending time wrestling Hurricane could only help him, as
he looked better than he has in his entire stint. Hurricane
did an AWESOME slingshot tope into a Hurricanrana. The Hurricanemania
is running wild!
the Buck Wild Samoans beat down Spike for a few minutes. This
served very little purpose. Though I must admit Three Minute
Warning are pretty mobile for large men.
T. and Scott Steiner took on Batista and HHH in a tag match
that was terrible, but you could see the thigh injury holding
HHH back. Seriously, in 2000, I had HHH pegged as the next
eternal superstar, going up to Flair levels in the ring, and
Austin level at the box office. After the injuries, I doubt
he'll ever have a run like that again.
Eric Bischoff was lame, though the pre-match Eric as Ginsu
knife routine was funny. This was the first time I can think
of where the pin was a punch to the stomach.
show needed was Austin. Even if it was just a glimpse, with
Austin running in to save JR or something along those lines.
The crowd was dead, and when Bischoff did the psych-out, making
folks think that Austin was going to be on the show, the crowd
came alive and was loud. Stone Cold's entrance at No Way Out
is going to blow away any that Hogan ever had.
I'll do a run down of No Way Out on Thursday, but I will mention
that the WWE is trying to bring in Zach Gowen, aka Tenacious
Z. The guy is excellent in the ring, which is exceptionally
cool because the guy has one leg. Yes, the WWE is bringing
a leg-legged man to an ass-kicking contest. Having seen one
of his matches recently, I can say that he is very impressive.
There is also word that the WWE is looking into bringing another
one-legged wrestler, Steve Chamberlin, into the fed. This
may be an interesting tag team.
is America's greatest natural resource?
right, Celebrities! So, when the WWF was trying to break out
of the "smoke filled arenas" and National Armories
to play the big houses, one of the first things they did was
look for celebrities to bring onto the shows.
had worked with Mr. T on Rocky III and episodes of
The A-Team. So Vince thought he could bring him in,
get some exposure and launch the WWF to new heights. It worked,
but this was also a bad mistake.
Mr. T is a bit of a prima donna. The introduction bits they
did were great on camera, but backstage, the T was all about
the jibbajabba. He made various requests, all of which were
met, and was rude to everyone but Hogan. Even Cyndi Lauper,
one of the three biggest recording stars at the time, was
pushed around by T and his posse. Despite all of this, Mr.
T was to be Hogan's partner against Paul Orndorff and Roddy
David Schultz, not known for putting up with crap, got in
T's face and challenged him to a fight. This got the good
doctor fired, but managed to make Mr. T look very meek. This
is what started T in an unhappy way, and with WrestleMania
just days away, no one knew what to do, as T had hinted he
wouldn't be appearing.
had everything riding on WrestleMania. There were millions
invested in closed-circuit televison sites around the country.
Walk-up sales had been slow, and MSG had sold out. Those who
had bought tickets to the CC sites had bought them based on
the main event.
If T no-showed,
they would be forced to give thousands of refunds, and it's
likely that the fans at Madison Square Garden wouldn't take
kindly to it, and kill the city the WWF needed as its homebase.
The show and T's involvement was important, and scared other
promoters so badly that they considered placing a plant in
the crowd to attack T as he came to the ring.
of the show came, and T showed up just before his match, then
wrestled it and that was that. Huge pop, the crowd was happy,
and the fans came in big numbers, having bought their tickets
the day of for the CC sites that hadn't been cancelled due
to poor advances. The WWF was made for good on that day. But
T wasn't done.
Mr. T truly believed that the entire reason that WrestleMania
hit big was his involvement. Hogan and Piper had been drawing
huge houses around the country by this point, and a show of
this scale with all of these stars was a sure success. The
WWF made one mistake: allowing T to believe this fantasy and
book him for WrestleMania 2.
them. So young, so innocent, so unaware they're about
to enter into the Worst Match of the Year.
2 was taking place in three different locations, with Mr.
T boxing against Roddy Piper as the main event of the Chicago
portion. T had started to wane, and the fans didn't have the
same love for him that they had just a year before. The Chicago
portion didn't come close to selling out, and the boxing match
he had with Piper was awful. So awful as to earn the Worst
Match of the Year award.
strange thing happened: the fans started cheering Piper.
was the biggest heel in the world at that point, and when
the people cheered him, it killed his heel heat. The WWF,
needing to make something good out of the disaster, turned
Piper good, and gave him a big run. Mr. T didn't get used
again, thank God, as his fee for WM2 was another reason that
the show didn't really make much money.
with Celebrities is that they are already famous. They know
that people know them, and would admit to knowing them, unlike
the wrestlers, who are hidden from most of the world, even
though they draw huge crowds.
No Limit Soldiers or KISS when they came into the WCW, the
rub isn't that great, the cost can be great, both financially
and to the morale of the crew. If you knew that the office
didn't have enough faith in you as a money maker that they
bring in David Arquette to be champion, would you feel like
going out and having good matches? Me neither.
that's Falls Count Anywhere for Monday. No Way Out Preview
later this week, and Friday with more news, reviews, and how
bringing in Celebrities can make a wrestling star into a superstar.