Dreaming Of A Star Wars Christmas? 2017

Many of you are aware that tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day, the day that you can walk into almost any comics shop and pick up (specific) comics marked “Free” and get a sample of some of the best that publishers have to offer. But in Hallmark stores all across America, it’s also the day they celebrate something called “the Dream Book,” which shows off the Keepsake Ornaments coming to hang on your tree this Christmas. The book advertises ornaments that will come out in waves — the real Ornament Premiere is the weekend of July 15, with another major wave coming out October 7, because Hallmark wants to pace out how much of your money it takes.

For decades, Hallmark has had ornaments that crossed over with movies, TV shows, and cartoons, but recent years have seen them hone that down to compete among major collectibles. They’re not recommended as action figures or toys, but then you may have had a bitter Christmas where you’d say the same thing about hyper-articulated (and thus hyper-delicate) actual toys.

The ornaments may not say “Happy Holidays” to you, but they’ll still look just fine on a shelf, if not on your tree. Let’s start with may be the most hotly anticipated ornaments this year, a selection from Star Wars:

This piece lights up and plays audio from the iconic confrontation in A New Hope, Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Vader. It hurts to think that you’d have to pack it back up on January 7.

The ornaments look to the beginning of the saga, and to the most recent chapter, with a beautiful tribute to Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia. available in October, and Mark Hamill as hermit Luke Skywalker from The Force Awakens, available in July. (Online, the Dreambook teases that they will have ornaments from The Last Jedi, but of course, artwork is not yet available at all.)

Hallmark will also offer the “Stormtrooper Peekbuster” — if you thought the Elf on the Shelf kept kids in line, what about the threat of blaster fire from a candy cane? Motion sensors activate the ornament, who will bark warnings to nosy children.

Prepare yourself for that July Premiere event, because Hallmark also has extremely limited editions of ornaments, usually at least one from a fan favorite property — which this year does include Star Wars. If you want to see a fully armored Finn — aka FN-2099, supplies will be limited. There are also other order that tree topper online RIGHT NOWStar Wars ornaments — a Darth Vader head, Darth Vader’s TIE Fighter, and an X-Wing Fighter. If you really want your tree on the Dark Side, there are two variations on the Death Star — one light-up ornament, and one tree topper. Hopefully, they don’t have a structural weakness that makes them vulnerable in their exhaust port. (You can for a mere $99.95 plus tax and shipping & handling.)

I was going to suggest you might resist this, but then I found out it plays John Williams’ theme along with giving a light show. It’s… too… beautiful.

I’ll delve into a selection of other ornaments that may pique the average fandroid’s interest, but Star Wars deserved a page to itself.

 

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About Derek McCaw
In addition to running Fanboy Planet, Derek has written for ActionAce, Daily Radar, Once Upon A Dime, and The Wave. He has contributed stories to Arcana Comics (The Greatest American Hero) and Monsterverse Comics (Bela Lugosi's Tales from the Grave). He performs with ComedySportz San Jose and ShakesBEERience, in addition to occasional screenwriting and acting jobs. If you ever played Eric's Ultimate Solitaire on the Macintosh, it was Derek's voice as The Weasel that urged you to play longer. Email him at editor@fanboyplanet.com.