It’s that time of year! We’re not even halfway to Halloween and already we’re having to make plans for Christmas. Because this is the day Hallmark releases its Dream Book — the guide to all the Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments that will be available at your local Hallmark store on July 15, 2023. Unless you wanted one that’s not coming out until October 14.
Over the next couple of days, I’ll call attention to certain collections that readers of this site will want to check out. Starting with the latest entry in their most demonic innovative product in years — Storyteller Ornaments. With the correct power cord (only available through Hallmark), you can connect a series of themed ornaments together with a themed tree topper, and at the push of a button, they’ll play out excerpts from their franchise. For example, in my office right now, I have the Star Trek series set up. Gathered around an Enterprise tree topper, the ornaments do a five minute version of the classic Trek episode “Mirror, Mirror.”
They’ve also released one for Star Wars (I believe I have the wrong Death Star tree topper, and what a glorious world we live in where that’s something that can be said) and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. In all three cases, Hallmark released key figures over three years, so they wouldn’t break your bank too much. Too much. In the Enchanted Geeky Room, we don’t put these on the tree; we leave them out all year round to amuse guests and in the case of Star Trek, to turn out the lights in my office and just gaze at the twinkling lights of the Enterprise. You don’t do that?
This year, they’re launching the Haunted Mansion. As certain key characters aren’t in the catalog, it’s safe to assume Hallmark will follow the usual practice of spreading these out over three years. Arriving on July 14, the tree topper will be the mansion itself, sculpted after Orlando’s version. (The secret is the arboretum.)
You can pick that tree topper up along with “The Coffin in the Conservatory” and “Madame Leota” starting at the July Ornament Premiere. (Believe me, those are events.)
As you can see, each one has a button to trigger light and motion separately from the tree topper. That’s so we can all sleep at night thinking that maybe we’ll buy just one and not need the others. That’s fair, right? Right? You’ll still need the cord, especially when you go back in October to pick up Victor Geist, better known to some as the Organist in the Ballroom.
There, that helps, doesn’t it? You have months to pick these up, and as much as I’m writing with a touch of snark, Hallmark has historically done a great thing and made sure that each year they re-release the older ornaments. If you miss them this year, there’s a good chance you can find them again in 2024. They did that with the Hitchhiking Ghosts ornament three years ago. It sold out almost immediately. They made more. Last year, they released it again. And so Hallmark may be my favorite collectibles company. They do make exclusives, and those stay exclusive. Those releases are rare, usually tied to conventions. For the most part, if they make an ornament that’s popular, they work to make sure it’s available for everybody. This is not a Rick and Morty szechuan sauce situation.
So who’s missing? Clearly, the Hatbox Ghost will be coming in 2024 or 2025. A new version of the Hitchhiking Ghosts Phineas, Ezra, and Gus — either together as the previous ornament had them, or separately. Everybody has their favorite hitchhiker. Constance Hatchaway aka The Bride should be raising her axe around your tree. The Mansion itself must be voiced by, of course, the Ghost Host.
In the words of the tiny figure at the end of the ride, “Hurry back…” as I’ll have more ornaments up. In a manner of speaking.
